asukachii:

“A dance with your son, here in hell!!”

(I don’t like putting watermarks so, PLEASE, if you want to post these gifs somewhere GIVE CREDITS! Also, don’t use them in videos/amvs. Thanks~)

insomniac-dot-ink:

we survived because we were the “smartest” species you say, we survived because jellyfish don’t know how to construct a Fighter Jet. We survived because our environment is ours to manipulate with walls and floors and lightbulbs to capture the sun and tunnel into night.

we survived by being faster in our cars and stronger with our tools, and better than we were before. We survived with language to build on the past with and weapons to fight the future. We survived because of our hands and our heads and the fact we make the universe itself knowable.

But then again, a mother will gain the strength of ten men to lift a full car off her baby. A man will spend eight hours nursing a puppy back to health and that dog will follow his every step from the doorstop to the grave. A best friend will dropkick an alligator in the water for the sake of him.

And I’ll tell you, maybe it was all of it. And maybe it was because we loved each other better than we hated, we loved each other in the dark before the lightbulb and loved each other more in the wilds before our walls, and we loved each other so thoroughly we made pyramids and libraries and monuments, and wrote not for the sake of money and food and living, but for the sake of wrapping each others hearts in velvet soft to escape the sandpaper winds of this world.

And that too is survival. That too is a reason. Not for our brains or our hands or our grit, but for our willingness to wrap each others wounds in bandages and set the broken bones of grandparents and sit outside windows and sing lullabies and love songs and cry over butterflies and sunsets and care too deeply. Care too strongly. Care too much.

That too is survival.

fireandsteelofangels:

“where was I a year ago? I was happier (I think) maybe I was better at pretending”

— I wasn’t home though by Abby S

inkskinned:

i am always checking other people’s body language. my therapist says this is a normal conditioned response to what i’ve been through, she says - you like to see a problem before it becomes a problem.

i like to see a problem before it is a problem. if i can solve the problem early, then there will never be a problem to exist. if i can’t solve it, i’d like to leave, and if i can’t leave, i don’t know how to handle it. so i watch, and i wait for things that might not happen, and i duck out of parties early, and i don’t let people too close, and i don’t believe you like me, and i say i am happy on my own.

my therapist says - with all this watching, don’t you worry you might misunderstand a signal and end up seeing rejection where there is acceptance? don’t you think you might be giving this a lot of power over your existence? 

with all this watching, she says. when do you get to actually experience?

h-art-b:

“I did the being edgy and self-deprecating thing, it gets old. I wanna be soft and easily impressed. I wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way I’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me.”

—

positivityadvocate:

naramdil:

you have this idea in your head that the only time you’re worthy of being loved is when you’re at your best. you’re still worthy of being loved when you’re at your lowest. you’re still worthy of being loved when you don’t want to go on anymore. you are still worthy of being loved even when you don’t love yourself. you are a human and therefore always worthy of being loved and don’t you fool yourself into thinking otherwise. 

thelostgirl21:

Note: I’m going to use “him” in reference to Shepard here, but the situation is basically the same with FemShep.

I often see people complaining about Kaidan « still not trusting Shepard » during the Citadel Coup.  And, you know what, I really don’t see it.

Assuming that you took the time to visit him during his stay at the hospital, and you’ve successfully mended the relationship (as friends, at the very least), here is basically how the Citadel Coup plays out with Kaidan.

1. Thane tells you that he and Kaidan split up shortly after Cerberus began attacking the Citadel, with Kaidan saying that he’s going to try to find the councilors and protect them.

2. You fight a bunch of Cerberus operatives that are going after the councilors’ elevator.

3. Kaidan mistakenly assumes that you are a Cerberus gunman when you land on the top of their elevator, and shoots at you.

4. Kaidan and the councilors finally reach their destination, only to find out that their shuttle has been sabotaged, and that they need another escape route.

5. As they turn around to return to the elevators, Shepard shows up with 2 squad mates, locking the doors behind them, thus trapping Kaidan and the Citadel council out in the open.

6. As soon as Kaidan recognizes Shepard, he immediately lowers his gun, and asks him “What’s going on?”

I repeat.  His very first instinct / reaction is to trust Shepard and ask him what’s happening.  He doesn’t even hesitate; his gun goes down right away.

7. Udina immediately says in a panicked voice “Shepard’s blocking our escape, he’s with Cerberus!”

Perhaps now would be a good time to point out that Kaidan is acting as a Council Spectre in that scene, and thus is under their direct orders. 

Shepard isn’t his CO, he’s not even a superior officer.  And even if Shepard did outrank him in the Alliance, Kaidan is still a Spectre, and his priority remains the safety of the Council.

Like it or not, Udina is a councilor, and thus under Kaidan’s protection.  So, if the councilors have any reason to believe that Shepard might represent a threat to them, his job is to give credibility to their statement (at least, initially), and see to it that their safety is ensured until the situation can be resolved.

Whether Kaidan himself trusts Shepard or not is irrelevant by that point.  What matters is whether or not the councilors trust him.  Kaidan is acting on behalf of the council.

Very important note: While Kaidan does lower his gun as soon as he recognizes Shepard, Shepard and his companions keep their guns trained on Udina THE WHOLE TIME.  Kaidan lowers his weapon, Shepard DOESN’T.

8.  Following Udina’s accusation, Kaidan has no choice but to raise his weapon on Shepard, and to go position himself between him and his target.  He says “Just, hang on – I got this.  Everyone calm down.”

I think that he’s basically trying to tell Udina to relax instead of making hasty accusations / assumptions, as well as urging the two other council members not to start panicking, and to keep on trusting him to do his work.

9. Shepard lowers his gun, saying “I can explain this, Kaidan.”  To which Kaidan replies “Come on, Shepard.  Gun drawn on a councilor… kinda looks bad.”

At this point, I’m not sure that Kaidan has the luxury of lowering his weapon anymore.  The councilors are expecting him to ensure their safety, and he has to show them that he is willing to do anything in order to protect them, no matter against whom.

Immediately taking Shepard’s side without pointing out the seriousness of Shepard’s actions (i.e. pointing his gun at a councilor) would probably have made the rest of the council question Kaidan’s loyalty towards them, as well as his level of dedication to his role as a Spectre.

Plus, Kaidan might be scared that his history with Shepard and his personal attachment towards him (as friend or lover) might be clouding his judgment.  He has to try to remain critical in his thinking.

10. Meanwhile, Shepard and his two squad mates have gone back to pointing their guns on Kaidan / Udina again, and Shepard has the opportunity to signal his team to stand down.  Shepard then says “We don’t have time to negociate.  You’ve been fooled, all of you.  Udina is behind this attack.  The salarian councilor confirmed it.”  For now,Kaidan simply stands by, while the other two councilors look at Udina, and appear to be considering this.

11. Udina answers: “Please, you have no proof, you never do.”, and Shepard says “There are Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us.  If you open that door, they’ll kill you all.”

At that point, that’s just the thing; there is no proof either way.  It’s Udina’s word against Shepard’s word.

12. The asari councilor states “We’ve mistrusted Shepard before, and it did not help us.” (or, if you didn’t save the original council, something along the lines of “What Shepard says is possible.  Unlikely, but possible.”)  Prompting Udina to respond “We don’t have time to debate this.  We’re dead if we stay out there.  I’m overriding the lock.”

Now, Kaidan has a choice.

If Shepard is telling the truth, then Udina is putting all of their lives at risk, and he must act!

Not to mention that the asari councilor just expressed a willingness to believe that Udina betrayed them all, and to trust Shepard’s claims instead (the turian councilor didn’t object her opinion either).

Therefore, Kaidan has the opportunity to take the risk of openly trusting Shepard without his actions being perceived as a form of betrayal towards the council.

13. Kaidan takes a few seconds to consider his options, then lowers his gun and says “I better not regret this.”.  Shepard replies “You won’t.”, lowering his.

14. Kaidan completely turns around, keeping his back to Shepard, and draws his gun on Udina instead, ordering him to step away from the console.

He could simply have stood down, lowered his weapon, and stepped out of Shepard’s way while still observing him, remaining ready to defend himself or the other two council members at the first sign of hostility.

But he didn’t.  He entirely turned around, leaving himself and the two other councilors under his responsibility entirely vulnerable, and chose to directly support Shepard instead.

If Kaidan had been wrong about him, nothing could have prevented him from being shot in the back at this point.  Shepard could have immediately taken him out, and killed all the remaining councilors.

So, I’m thinking that Kaidan’s trust in Shepard must have been pretty solid in order for him not only to lower his gun at the very sight of him, but to be willing to take such a risk.

Actually, if Kaidan and Shepard have had the chance to work on their issues during his stay at Huerta Memorial, and Shepard is not the ruthless type, then getting Kaidan to stand down is so easy that it’s almost ridiculous, IMHO.

All that Shepard really has to say is “Udina’s behind this attack, the salarian councilor confirmed it, there’s a bunch of Cerberus operatives in the elevator shaft behind us that are waiting to kill us all.”

And Kaidan basically goes “Okay then.  Let’s just hope that I’m right about this.  Udina, you’re busted.”

I mean, what more do people want?  For Kaidan to step out of the way and completely forsake his duty to the council the very moment that Shepard shows up?